- Sleep till 9 a.m.
- Snore. Snore. Snore.
- Shout for a cup of tea right from your bed- Maid. Husband. Husband. Maid – Race who gets it first.
- Sit at the portico with your third cup of tea and a street dog for company because solid food & human interaction might interrupt with your inner harmony early in the morning.
- By 10:30 a.m, switch on the laptop and pretend to work for the next 10 hours because you get paid for pretending to work.
- Ignore all phone calls, because mobile radiations cause cancer. (For those who think I am joking – click to read the article from National Cancer Institute).
- Talk to your pet fish during lunch because discussing ‘Sasural Simar Ka’ is way too advanced a topic for your level of mental evolution.
- Read 100-rupee literature such as ‘My 95th Love Story at IIT’ to get over crap that you can’t filter out of your system through your sad face & mad face.
- After you are done with your day’s work, switch on the TV, tune in Times now and watch ‘The News Hour’ on mute.
- Sleep at 11 p.m. Wake up at 1 a.m, switch on the lights and play Frank Sinatra on full volume. Let people who play Anuradha Paudwal, on full volume, at 5 a.m. have logical reasons to complain.
PS: Please feel free to feel offended.