As an introvert, I can cite multiple occasions from my life when I was misunderstood. I have heard people call me cold, arrogant, weird, and what not. I initially tried to rebuff all this thinking most people, I know, are not considerate towards introverts.
However, now that I am growing older and wiser, I can see introversion is not an easy thing to read, especially for people who have grown up around extroverts. It’s also difficult for an introvert, especially for a child or a teenager, to comprehend why they are so easily misunderstood. Introverted teenagers start becoming more and more recluse as they feel they don’t really belong to most of the social circles around them.
Introverts, however, are anything but cold, arrogant, misfit, or weird. Only if people understand a few things about introverts and don’t over-analyze their quietness for something else, it will make awkward social situations a little bit easier for introverts to handle.
Introverts don’t hate people
Introverts don’t hate human beings. They are simply a little more selective about people who they want to hang out with. They mostly like people who take friendships slow and don’t invade into their personal space too often or too early in the relationship. Introverts treat their solitary time with sanctity. For them, their private time is meant for exploring newer ideas, newer facts, and recharging themselves for upcoming social interactions. If you are one of those over-enthusiastic people who love hanging out in a big group without any fixed agenda, introverts would maintain a deliberate distance from you. It’s not because they hate you, it’s simply because they really dread being forced to attend one of these gatherings.
Introverts are not good at small talks
Introverts don’t understand the mechanism behind ‘small talks’. They find such conversations extremely boring and taxing. Also, if you are not one of those people in their inner circle, introverts would weigh every single word they utter in front of you. This is the reason why people find introverts either uninterested in the ongoing social conversations or quiet to the extent of boring. Introverts, however, can be extremely talkative and fun if they are in the company of people they love. They love talking about life, love, stars, science, and philosophy in general. Introverts are intrigued by conversations that involve something deeper and meaningful for them.
Introverts mean what they say
Introverts are extremely choosy with their words. They will not speak a sentence until they find the right words to expresses what they mean to say with the right level of intensity or vigor. Most of the introverts find it easier to communicate via text messages than over phone calls because text messages give them the time to think through the words they choose. Introverts also treat their promises with utmost sanctity. Therefore, they, sometimes, come across as people who are commitment phobic.
Introverts love and hate with the same intensity
Introverts take a lot of time to fall in love. It’s very difficult for an introvert to allow anyone to be in their personal space and influence their feelings. It’s only when they trust someone as much as they trust themselves that they commit to being in a romantic relationship with that person. Hatred is an equally intense feeling for an introvert. Introverts treat breach of trust no lesser than a crime. So, once someone betrays their trust, introverts develop an intense disliking and hatred for that person. In general, as introverts are very observant people, they easily spot liars and stay away from them.
Introverts overthink, always!
Introverts overthink about practically everything in life. They think about every single word uttered in a conversation they had, or they are about to have. They sometimes even prepare themselves to have an unpleasant conversation when their brain signals them that something might go wrong. They analyze their intuitions on their self-created logic checklist to decipher the chances of their intuitions turning into reality. As most introverts are emotional people, they do practically everything to protect themselves from a possible heart break.
Being an introvert isn’t the easiest thing in the world. It takes a lot of time for introverts to understand that they are a minority and the world will not bend their rules to accommodate them and that they need to go out of their comfort zone to fit in. However, only if people are a little considerate, introverts might turn out to be the most reliable friends, colleagues, lovers, and leaders.