Shit load of true love!

I remember when I was in college, a classmate explained to me the meaning of ‘true love’. True love according to this person was the insatiable desire to look at one’s lover’s face forever and ever and ever. In the next breath, he asked me if I loved someone. Stupid as I was, I thought about the idea of looking at my boyfriend’s face forever and ever and ever, and I was not amused by the idea. So, I said, “I think I am not in true love”. This was in 2006. I was not eligible to vote so I was allowed to indulge in such stupid conversations.

I am soon going to celebrate a decade of saying tata-bye-bye to teenage and  I thought absurd conversations like these are finally a thing of past! But la la!!! I stumbled upon the Message Requests folder in Facebook Messenger and I came across a shit load of true-love-absurdity all over again. The new definition of true love in 2016 seems to be sending absurd ‘frandship and lurrve’ messages to unknown girls. 

So, the point I am trying to make is that the concept of true love and stupidity seem to exist in parallel dimension. I will come back to this folder in 2026 to see if true love evolves with time. Till then, leaving you with these messages. Keep spreading love!

And yes, my lord, before you object, I am not hiding the names of these true lovers because: a) It’s shit load of Photoshop to do at 11 p.m. b) Please let them enjoy their moment of fame with their ‘fake’ names!

  1. The true love based on “Adjectives”!

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2. The ‘my’ who I don’t know!

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3. The self-proclaimed weirdo!

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4.  This pick-up line is a killer, literally! (Thank God, someone reported him!)

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5. The typical good boy with a ‘frandship’ request! Phtttt! I need a heart transplant, dude! Will you donate yours?! 😛

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6.  And this, I tell you, killed me with the confidence. Cut the crap and keep the love! Woaaah!!!

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PS: Now, with no offense to people who met on Facebook and later got hitched, please never tell me that your love story started from the Facebook Messengers’ Message Requests folder. I will get judgmental. Okay?!

 

 

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Kaho na Pyar “nahi” hai – The stupid teenage celebrity love!

As a teenager, I adored Hrithik Roshan and the world knew about it! On my 14th birthday – all the 5-10 odd gifts that I received had something to do with Mr.Roshan. I got his autographed posters, cassettes (Ouch! This made me feel so old) of his movies,  a Close-up contest form (I can never forget this one!) which offered a 20 minutes journey with Mr.Roshan up in the air and last but not the least an autographed photo and a letter (not an email, mind you!) from the man himself (which I regret misplacing during shifting my houses).

Now that I look back and think of the stupid things that I have done as a fan, I smile in embarrassment. At 28, I am writing this confessional post to officially announce that I am distancing myself from the  “Roshan fanaticism”. If by any chance, you happen to a teenager who is reading my post and claim to be “inspired” (because I feel “love” is way too cheesy at 14) by Varuns, Siddharths, Shahids and the like, please feel free to add my list of stupidities to your own respective task lists. 14 years later, you can anyways officially ditch your celebrity love to announce to the world that “la! la! you finally grew up to be a sensible adult”.

Here is the list of the stupidities (I am sure I have forgotten many!) that I am most embarrassed about. Some of them are outright stupid, so even if I tell you to not be judgmental after reading the post, I know you will not be able to help yourself, so go ahead, judge, smile and get done with it.

  1. In my short 20-something life, I have watched “Kaho Na Pyar Hai” some 25-odd times. When there was a power outage at my home and the good-old Cable Service Provider was telecasting this movie on the local channel, I shifted my base to my neighbors house for the next 3 hours with my holiday homework. This was the 19th time I was watching a movie that did not even get nominated for the Oscars!
  2. I have watched the episode of Rendezvous with Simi Garewal that featured Hrithik and Sussanne may be 50-odd times. At one point in time, I remembered the questions and answers by heart. I can’t even tell you how much it inspired my own love life. My husband might cry at the very mention of this show.
  3. I watched “Aap mujhe acche lagne lage” and “Mission Kashmir” in theater much against my mother’s will.
  4. I skipped a family picnic because the telecast hours for the “Making of Fiza” clashed with the family picnic plans.
  5. I have spent all my pocket money during the early 2000s buying Hrithik’s posters. I even bought a Diwali cards for him and wrote to him on my birthday asking him for an autographed photo to make my birthday “special”. Phhhttt!!!
  6. At one point in time, I stripped all photos off an old family album to use it for my collection of Hrithik’s photos. Mom, this is a confession! 😀
  7. I had 6 posters of Hrithik adorning the walls in my room until one fine day my dad announced that he won’t enter my room unless I get rid of the “Pan-Dukaan-Ka-Posters” from all the walls.
  8. I once had a heated argument with one of my classmates about “Why Hrithik Roshan has a brighter future in Bollywood as compared to one his contemporaries, Mr.Well-Known-Surname?” While I won the debate (Ah! I had seen the future.), I was reprimanded by my class teacher for creating nuisance and using the “f” word in the class.
  9. I bought every magazine in sight which had Hrithik’s photo on the cover. Even the ones with “Finished” written in capital and bold case right over his face.
  10. I used all my jugaads as a teenager to procure Hrithik’s mobile number from all the acquaintances in Bombay to pass on my good wishes to him on his birthday – 10th January, in case you are wondering if I still remember the date. I was successful in getting his number much later when I joined the PR business. I never dared to call him though!

Well, while I am writing this article, someone pings me to ask Mohenjo Daro’s release date. Ufff!!! Dude, I am over him now. Ab kya sar pe likhoon!

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About the image: I don’t own the copyright of this image. If you have an objection, please write to me.